January can be both inspiring but also torturing and ultimately demoralising. Is it really realistic to stop eating forever? Or stop eating treats forever? And god forbid the thought, stop drinking forever??? Can we really stick to the same new gym routine forever when there are so many tempting distractions or should we just learn to balance it all out.
Good days and bad days will be for life as will how we feel, with highs and lows, so it seems sensible that we should find food and exercise and a lifestyle that is also flexible and works with us rather than against us, making us feel like failures.
In my books I have touched on anxiety and depression but equally have rejoiced in my successes! Even if some of my successes are simply making better choices!
Take a moment today, to think about what will really make you happy?
A couple of short videos to say Hi! & A Bit about what I'm doing....
I wanted today to write about something that seems to have found me, after some research. Something that never cropped up in the first 45 years of my life and something that can affect anybody at any age. And this is #ASPERGERS. I dare say, I have had it all of my life. When I was younger, I considered it normal that I didn't like school, after school activities or going out or social interaction. I preferred my own company. I enjoyed starting a new hobby or project and focusing on it for 24 hours a day, everyday until something new came along. Moderation was not even a question. I found myself getting irritated by sounds and smells. If I had a routine, I would be happy - but if the routine was disrupted, it would throw me out and force me to become irritated. But not irritated mildly, instead it would make my shoulders go up and my head fizz. If I was a cat, I would have stuck out my claws and easily scratched something. I would try to get through a day without upset but sometimes all these small things can become too much and as a result we have a meltdown. Melt downs are not fun and we have no control and unfortunately we are often punished for these meltdowns or the release of emotions. But we don't need punishing, having one is punishment enough. I am still the same today as I was when I was a child.
We are simply wired up that bit different, individuals of any age, need our weaknesses supported and our abilities and our strengths encouraged. Otherwise it makes us feel sad and although I may seem calm on the outside, inside I am screaming.
It's frustrating and tiring. We know what is expected of us and I know certainly what is expected of me and often I act in an acceptable fashion and often I am quite good at it but it just makes us disguise the real issue and ACT our way through our day to day lives. We just want to be ourselves.
If you are someone, who recognizes these feelings or if you know of someone who acts in a certain way, often very quirky and trusting too, remember that pushing them, will not benefit anyone. I now know that I have aspergers and it explains A LOT and I wish I had known more about it years ago. But if children get the support and care and UNDERSTANDING it will make a big difference, as they have a lot to give and for adults that thought they just didn't understand why they felt different or acted differently, it's not too late. You and I are really good and caring people with a lot to give. Stop punishing yourself today and start accepting yourself as the unique individual that you are x
A really nice picture book 'INSIDE ASPERGERS LOOKING OUT by the #Author Kathy Hoopmann explains it exceptionally clearly with animal pictures that portray the feelings so well and the words will give clarity and comfort to know you are not alone. I've put a link below. xx
O.k, I'm not one normally to get on my soapbox. Firstly, as it probably wouldn't comply with health and safety but just recently I have heard a handful of comments that just damn well niggle me. It's not that I haven't heard them before, it's just that I decided today, about an hour ago, that enough was enough.
I take my hat off to any individual that has a dream, a belief that they can do something that will create an income or a living on their own. I too believed. I am taking nothing away from those that choose to work for others, not at all, each to their own. This is about those that at the outset, take that first step that often gets themselves into debt for their beliefs, they have to look after themselves, maybe their families on little or no income for years, sometimes, until their fledgling, gets stronger and flies on it's own. The ones that, when they have a bad day or see things not working out, are the only ones that can pick themselves up, as often families, the bank, employees are relying on them. These are the ones, that may have to take out further loans or have charges put on their family home to ensure their businesses stay afloat, and their employees, remain employed. They have no set hours and will put in any hours it takes, to maintain the stability of their business. Weekdays and weekends are all the same. The only difference with a standard weekday to a bank holiday is double time or lieu hours, when they themselves often work below the living wage for the good of their business and it's growth.
Now, in time, every entrepreneurs plans are that their business will take off and strive and produce a living for themselves and their families and the potential of further growth equaling further employment. It's a win win.
So, I say to those in charge of decisions that affect small businesses, spare a thought for what they have had to sacrifice and borrow and juggle to get where they are today. For every new rule or piece of red tape that is implemented, it's a step back for growth. Every additional tax that is levied, is another hurdle to jump to keep their business afloat, employment in place and a roof over their heads, let alone staying on top of bank repayments. To those that endorse these hurdles, my question is this. What are you trying to achieve? Yes, there may be a short term gain by increasing taxes but something that is unreasonable, cannot be sustained in the long term. If you make the hurdles too high, they shall fall. No fault of their own or the hard work they have contributed, and when they fall, so will their employees, along with quality of life, into their homes and their families.
So, next time one of these decisions is being passed, spare a thought for the individual who was prepared to go without any income or security for the sake of investing in themselves and the economy, who wanted to take on the responsibility of employment of others and all the laws and pension regulations that surround it. Instead of crushing them for a short term gain. Help them. Help them to grow and flourish, look to the future, for the good of a long term growth plan, which benefits everyone. O.k, I feel better now. Can someone help me down from this soap box.
I was busy writing for my new book earlier and found myself, getting caught up with worrying about the next line and the line after that. Was it too serious? Was it too vague? Would it make sense? So I stopped. In that moment, writing had become a chore and it should be enjoyed. Whether it be serious literature or just a bit of fun. Words can be chosen and taken away and the author has the power to do both, so why worry unnecessarily. After all, it will all fall into place. Maybe not today, but it's going to happen.
But...this got me thinking, if we worry about how things can be interpreted, wouldn't be fun to write a very short piece about something very mundane and 'every day' in a way that it was deliberately trying to stretch the imagination. So I have set myself some 'fun interlude' projects. So, when writing isn't flowing, I can pick one of the following subjects or maybe a new one and just let the mind run free!
I will try and limit myself to around 150 words max. And the subjects that I have to choose from, may include: A washing Machine, A toaster, An Oven, A Hoover, but it could be anything!! :)
Please feel free to join in with your 'Everyday Short Story - Let's call them 'Life Literature or 'Lifelit'' and simply let our minds explore endless possibilities....
So, here I go (You may guess what it is, but at the end, I will confirm...)
I could hardly breathe, we were all there one moment and the next, I found myself alone. I had never been on my own. I was happy in my marriage and now powerless to protect the one that had always stood by my side. I looked anxiously as they were all taken away, and faced the floor when they went out of sight, unfamiliar sounds terrorized me. Ahead, all I could see was darkness and in that moment, the water swept them further away and I knew then, that they would never be the same as me again, and if I was to see them again, would I recognize them? All alone, the solitude set it, would they even want me?
"The story of the dirty sock left behind by the washing machine" by N Fuller
Here are 2 links to the first 2 ASMR TINGLE TIMES, that can be found on You Tube 'One Woman ASMR', as mentioned in my previous post. So stop what you are doing. Let the stress melt away and relax watching these 1/2 hr videos. you deserve a break and massage your senses.
One Woman ASMR: TINGLE TIME 1
One Woman ASMR: TINGLE TIME 2
I have decided to put together a series of videos, each about half an hour long to slot into your day, to help you relax or de-stress or maybe even simply refocus. They will be ASMR related, and aimed at authors who need to take time out, to channel their thoughts and story lines or individuals needing a moment for themselves. Is the business proposal not coming together? Have you come to a crossroads in your project and unsure, where to take it now? Well, stop what you are doing and take 'Time Out'. However, we aren't going to call it 'time out' but instead. 'Tingle Time.' I want you to simply relax and watch and listen and allow your body and mind to drift. Allow your senses to be triggered and enjoy the sensations and tingles generated by simple tasks. Taking time out is as equally as important as being busy and constructive. Taking time out looks after your health and when you free your mind and body, that is when real things happen. Fresh new ideas evolve. Simply where it all starts. So I hope you enjoy them and I will look forward to making them and putting them on my You Tube Channel. One Woman ASMR. So start making time soon for 'Tingle Time'....You deserve it x
I wanted today to touch on the importance of having a break, even if it is just for 10 minutes and what I like to do. I am a keen advocate of ASMR (Autonomous sensory meridian response). To know more have a little read about it on wikipedia:
Taking a few minutes out to listen to or watch ASMR videos gives me back my focus and centers me. I could be struggling with a project or hitting a wall with my writing. Someone may phone me and wind me up or upset my plans and I find myself getting more and more stressed. Then comes the self criticism and verbal abuse at ones self for not just getting on with things. This is firstly unhealthy but also very unproductive. Some of our best ideas come to us when we are relaxed. When you feel good about yourself, it frees you up to be the best you can be. And if you rely upon yourself for a creative burst this is very important.
I have added a link to one of my videos that I recorded for ASMR: WHAT IS ASMR? on my homepage of this website. Just click on it, and it will direct you to YouTube, where you will find this one of mine but I have others under the name of my channel 'One Woman ASMR'. On my channel you will also find some short stories I have recorded and an insight into chapters of some of my books.
Taking a break, should not make you feel guilty. If you are losing concentration and feeling tired, it is simply your bodies way of letting you know, that it's time to stop. So next time you feel this way. Put what you are doing to one side. Sit or lay down, read a book or listen to some incredibly relaxing ASMR. (Also great to induce sleep!) And hopefully by the end of the video, you will feel more like yourself, revived and ready to carry on with your day. x
Here is another: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0veCRIbY2BI&list=PLQ2VSHpp1hV4AyYfvAHtnQ4eaaHmpsODn&index=6
Time seems to fly by so quickly, and each day seems so busy, so I thought it handy to list some best sellers from UK Amazon, that have direct links to the UK Amazon. You never know what you may find or be able to recommend x
Be Inspired, Find Escapism, Learn & Grow...
Making it become real for all our tomorrows...
Taking time out should not make you feel guilty but instead is a necessity. On your own or with Family & Friends, enjoy...
All the handy things...
Music is the background to our yesterdays, today's & tomorrows. It makes us cry, inspire, dance and remember and smile. Whatever your mood, there is something here for you...
Look after your health and your health will look after you. Take time to relax after a long day or find a moment to pamper yourself, you deserve to look and feel the best you can be...
Busy, Busy, Busy No time for Food Shopping...Ever wondered What Are The...
It's nice to be nice, so say Thank you to some one today. Let them know you are thinking of them. Or Simply be kind & nice to yourself today...Take that 10 min break from the work and treat yourself...
Find your inner child & play a game...
It's so easy to be your own worst critic, or harsh to yourself but we wouldn't speak to others that way, so it's silly we do it, so often to ourselves. Yesterday, I had a day like that. A day where everything I have done or accomplished seemed to fall short and left me wanting. A day where I compared myself to others and again fell short and was left feeling jealous. A lack of belief or direction. Thank God it's another day now. And sometimes, that it all it is. A bad day. A day that you can't muster up inspiration for jobs or writing and sometimes no matter how hard you try and get your head around what you should be doing, it can be helpful and kind to yourself to just give in. Allow yourself that 'crappy' day.
So today is a new day and I've asked the police that watch over my shoulder to step back a bit. You know the ones, the ones that say you should be doing something else, when you want to be creative or the ones that say don't write that, it's rubbish to prevent you writing anything. Today I shall write, be it fun, average or the next best thing. I shall laugh because life shouldn't be so stressful everyday. It's O.K to have some light relief, especially as it's normally at those times, when you have the best ideas or inspiration. Today, I will except that what I write and do, may be different but not necessarily wrong or less valuable.
Today, I shall not pen myself in but allow my ability and writing to cross over the line and be true to myself and perhaps find something new. I will not forget yesterday, as it's those days that make the better days, so much more rewarding but I dare say, it won't be long before another pops up it's head. And if it does, I shall probably spend the first hours fighting it and chastising myself until I remember...it's O.K to have a bad day.
Once today is laid to bed and I have done what I have need to do and put some firm ticks next to my checklist of jobs done or words written, I shall write another for tomorrow and that is to me where the excitement and fun really happens. We do not know what tomorrow will bring, opportunities, laughs or dreams that come true. But I am happy to settle for a day where the work I do makes me feel fulfilled, I am in control of my day and being the best I can be....and today, as I write, I feel I'm on the right track.
Find me on you tube in the 'One Woman Series'.