Befriend your fears

I felt like I had been punched in my stomach and couldn't rationalise my fear. I am what most would consider a capable person.  I run my own business, I can conduct an important business meeting and have been known to participate in spontaneous fun such as sky diving and jumping off snow tipped mountains. But the prospect of having to get into my car and drive a 'virgin' journey, one not known to me and potentially have to join a motorway completely filled me with fear and anxiety.  But I knew I had to do it.  I wanted to make this journey but equally I could have found a thousand reasons why not to and easily accepted help but if I was going to be true to myself,  the truth was that I had to do it, it would do me good, it would help me grow, it would make me a better version of myself, but how?

As I often do, I turned to the benefits of ASMR (Autonomous sensory meridian response). This in itself slows my anxiety down.  I can actually feel my heart slow down along with the steadying of my breathing. It gives me focus and clarity to see what the problem is but allows me to start to rationally break it up into smaller bite size pieces. I can see clearly what is actually worrying me and what I am not worried about and start to dissect it. Each piece that is worrying me, I bring in closer, make peace with it, find solutions, gain knowledge and in turn befriend. Maybe it will never become my best friend but I can't have it as my enemy.  It hurts me too much. And by having the knowledge or the solution it gives me just that little bit more, a push perhaps in the right direction to start believing in myself that I can do it.  Once I have this, I try to make it matter less - so what if I take a wrong turning, so what if the journey takes a bit longer, so what if I get lost. It will be fine. I will be fine.

Now after doing the journey a couple of times, I can't tell you how proud I felt of myself and do with each journey.  It still makes me anxious but now I have one foot in the ring and I'm ready for the fight.  This fear will not beat me, it may often try to and it certainly is a mighty opponent but a fight can't stay a fight if it's with a friend. And I'm happy to raise my hand and say I have a new acquaintance in my life, not quite a friend yet but one that I have enjoyed spending time with.

If you too suffer with anxiety, I highly recommend that you explore the ASMR community.  There are lots of videos on You Tube, with my favourite artist being Gentle Whispering. I also have a site that you are always welcome to come and follow if you click on the ONE WOMAN SERIES link at the top. x