Some days I can't believe how many highs and lows I go through. One minute elated and the next feeling so low and demotivated. Am I really feeling like this or is it just my body reacting? But reacting to what? A person, a conversation I didn't like or want, an event that has happened and why do I have to continue on this roller coaster of highs and lows? Well after some soul searching, I've decided that I don't although I probably will for now as that is how I have programmed myself to be over the past 40 plus years. But in reality nothing can change the way you feel. No event can change the way you feel of make you feel happy or sad, relieved or excited. Feelings are our bodies and mind's way of telling us there is a choice to make. Something is happening and now is the time to make a decision. No singular event can change our mood but how we react to the event can. So I have started to question my feelings, I know - that may sound cynical if not a little schizophrenic. But it's the bodies way of giving you feedback. And with this, you can do with it what you want.
So for the next time someone pi**es me off, rather than it bring down my day, I will take on board that the person I am talking to has not very nice things to say but be relieved that I am not bitter like them and get on with my day. The next time, I am carved up on the road because someone thinks they deserve to own the road more or get to where they are going quicker than me, I will be thankful of my safety and hope they get where they need to go safely. The next time someone tries to belittle me or talk over the top, I will try and bite my tongue but feel a little sorry for them that they feel they have to do this to make them feel better in themselves and remind myself that who I am and what I have are both OK and that I am entitled to an opinion. This is what makes me me. There will of course be days where events rock the inner foundations of your world and it will be hard to not have an immediate reaction. The pain of losing a loved one or a change so great you are left lost for a while. In these times, I will embrace my tears and accept this is the way to heal my pain while trying to remember as many happy thoughts as I can muster to allow me to keep moving forward. However today is a quiet day, I have probably only had about ten feelings since waking several hours ago, gloom, sadness, anticipation, worry, relief, happiness, proud, excited, amused, content....and with this feedback that my body and mind are giving me, I think I'll choose a middle of the road approach. Today I accept I will feel things and today I am feeling just fine.
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18/10/2020 10:42:17 am
Feelings of the healing are done for the turns for the individuals. Paths of the field are dynamic for the flees. The component is filled for the ideal paths for the team. The reform is done for the challenges or the partial means and all show for the filled items for the reports.
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Nikki FullerFind me on you tube 'OnewomansepiaASMR' Archives
February 2021
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