March 08th, 2017

Hi,
I wanted today to write about something that seems to have found me, after some research.  Something that never cropped up in the first 45 years of my life and something that can affect anybody at any age.  And this is #ASPERGERS.  I dare say, I have had it all of my life.  When I was younger, I considered it normal that I didn't like school, after school activities or going out or social interaction.  I preferred my own company.  I enjoyed starting a new hobby or project and focusing on it for 24 hours a day, everyday until something new came along.  Moderation was not even a question.  I found myself getting irritated by sounds and smells.  If I had a routine, I would be happy - but if the routine was disrupted, it would throw me out and force me to become irritated.  But not irritated mildly, instead it would make my shoulders go up and my head fizz.  If I was a cat, I would have stuck out my claws and easily scratched something. I would try to get through a day without upset but sometimes all these small things can become too much and as a result we have a meltdown.  Melt downs are not fun and we have no control and unfortunately we are often punished for these meltdowns or the release of emotions.  But we don't need punishing, having one is punishment enough.  I am still the same today as I was when I was a child.
We are simply wired up that bit different, individuals of any age, need our weaknesses supported and our abilities and our strengths encouraged.  Otherwise it makes us feel sad and although I may seem calm on the outside, inside I am screaming.
It's frustrating and tiring. We know what is expected of us and I know certainly what is expected of me and often I act in an acceptable fashion and often I am quite good at it but it just makes us disguise the real issue and ACT our way through our day to day lives. We just want to be ourselves.
If you are someone, who recognizes these feelings or if you know of someone who acts in a certain way, often very quirky and trusting too, remember that pushing them, will not benefit anyone.  I now know that I have aspergers and it explains A LOT and I wish I had known more about it years ago.  But if children get the support and care and UNDERSTANDING it will make a big difference, as they have a lot to give and for adults that thought they just didn't understand why they felt different or acted differently, it's not too late. You and I are really good and caring people with a lot to give. Stop punishing yourself today and start accepting yourself as the unique individual that you are x

A really nice picture book 'INSIDE ASPERGERS LOOKING OUT by the #Author Kathy Hoopmann explains it exceptionally clearly with animal pictures that portray the feelings so well and the words will give clarity and comfort to know you are not alone. I've put a link below. xx